My personal DNA

2 more Episodes to go!!!!

YES!!! ANOTHER 2 more episodes to go and it's going to OVER! MY FIRST DRAMA AS THE PM!!!

I'm counting down the days to the FINALE!!! hahaha seriously it's texting me too much! Not worth it at the moment...

Can't wait to go back!!! WOOHOOOOO

It's tough

being a grown up....even tho I'm now 24, does that consider I'm a grown up? I know back then, ppl at my age are already married and raising family. I am not...Thank Goodness for that...

I know I've mentioned this before...I don't want to grow up yet...I know when I was 17...I wished I was in my early 20s...but now when I'm in that age, I wish I'm back in secondary school.

I know I am saying this because I am in a depressing mood, I miss home so badly now. I want to go back if I can...and go back to work. I envy those who have their families close at heart...I need mummy's hug and TLC so badly that I'm tearing as I type this...

I want her care, her hugs, her kisses and all her home cooked food that I miss so badly....

Mummy & daddy, I miss you terribly...

2nd post in a day

I am currently in love with this song...actually I've always loved this song. But somehow I am more in love with it right now...Just love the bass being played...


RAIN DOWN BY PLANET SHAKERS

I am falling to my knees
I need You Lord to breathe in me
My prayer is still the same
My heart is calling out Your name

Sweet anointing fill this place
I am found in Your embrace

Rain down on me
Rain down on me
Here in Your presence I am free
Pour down like rain
Come and touch me again
Lord let Your presence fall on me

I’m longing just to see
Your power and Your majesty

Sweet anointing fill this place
I am found in Your embrace

Sweet anointing
Wash me over
Sweet anointing
Wash me over

To lash out my frustration

I need a place to lash out my frustation, to express my feelings, to shout out lout, to scream about Sadiq & Co!!!

I am soo tired of them pointing fingers at me, esp my schedules. I have been doing the scheduels since it started. Like looking at which scenes to shoot on the days I was given and also liase with the casts' timing. To get everyone on set so they can roll the camera.

AND yet, I get complaints or should I say, they basically said that it's because of my schedules everyone is tired. The casts' get annoyed for waiting so long to do their scene.

HAVE they thought about...if they changed the call time, did they inform me about the changes so I can tell my other talents or extras to come a bit later? NO! My schedules are just guide lines for you to see what to shoot. My timing may be off coz I don't go on set. I just schedule according to what I think it's ok to me. And I release the call sheets early so you guys can have a look and get back to me. NONE of you did that except during the day of the shoot!! This is becoming very frequent.

LAST NIGHT I HAD LIKE 3 exactly smses!! Telling me that I didn't give them enough set up time! I gave them 40mins and time to roll camera, PLEASE PLAY AROUND WITH THE TIMING. HOW WILL I KNOW WHAT ARE YOU GUYS GONNA SHOOT?!?!?! First the director sent it to me, then the producer forwarded the director's sms, then the assistant director forwarded the SAME sms to ME! HOW IRRITATING CAN THAT BE? THE assistant director added that 15mins is NOT ENOUGH FOR SETTING UP. I'm LIKE HELOOO...I GAVE YOU GUYS 40mins for master setup, which is the normal duration. AND THEN COZ it's at the SAME PLACE ie: reception area, I GAVE ANOTHER 15mins to change the casts' wardrobe and to reset the ligthing since you've already have the master setup!!! UNLESS OF COURSE they change to a different location perhaps into the office, then I'll give another 40mins of setup time!!!! WHAT THE HECK!!!!

It's like I am getting blamed for them RUNNING LATE!!!! PUH LEASEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! MY TIMING IS ALL ESTIMATED TIMING. I WOULDN'T KNOW HOW LONG DO YOU NEED COZ I NEVER GET ANY FEED BACK. I TRIED SO HARD TO PLEASE EVERYONE and you all thought I just put the time for fun??

FINE if that's what you all want...I GIVE YOU AMPLE TIME TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. DON'T COME BACK TO ME AND TELL ME WE HAVE OVERRUN! THAT is NO LONGER my problem. IT is YOUR problem on set! I am just scheduling it so you can know what yo shoot. About timing...You were NEVER ON TIME! NOT EVEN ONCE WITH THE TIME I GAVE!!!! SO can it be MY FAULT?!?!?!?! YOU never even once try to follow the time that I allocate....can't even push your director for heaven's sake!!!

I AM JUST SOO UPSET!!! Seriously I AM! If things doesn't go well on set, it's my schedules problem...WHAT THE HECK!?!?!

P/S: I am so sorry to my readers...this is a very angry post. I don't know who should I confide to or to say anything. I am so angry and upset that I don't know who to tell around me. It's like I want to tell someone who can listen and probably advise me but somehow...I just can't talk about it. It just makes me boil even more..so sorry =)

Fickle

I have such a fickle brain!!! hahaha

I can't even decide if I like or I don't. The feelings changes every time haha I am so sorry if I have giving you all such a hard time =) thank you for your patience ya

bear with me...I know time will tell for me to find out hehehe

love you!!!! muacks!!

Regrets?

I shouldn't have done that....Now things are looking different.

I thought by telling, it'll get things easier. I guess there's always a 50-50 chance. So I should be prepared. I was prepared. But why am I feeling this way?

If I didn't, I will never know. But now I know...it's painful. It's always painful to know the truth.

Things may not be the same but I'll have to pretend that I don't what I know.

I should have just kept it to myself. Now, I'm regretting it a lot. It will be totally different now...

I hate it. I am such a dumb dumb. Can't believe I did that...

Regrets regrets....let's just pretend it never happen. Let's everything go back to normal...

Home home home

I am dreaming of going home now....

counting down the days =)

can't really wait...I am mentally exhausted...

Rose rose I love you

Will be going up to Genting tomorrow, technically later on to watch this musical called Rose Rose I love you hehehe

Going to go up for a day's trip...Hope it'll be a nice trip =D no stress or nothing!!

Father, I pray for a safe journey and also a nice trip. let me be a fun one this time =) I really pray everything will go smoothly and well. Amen