Extremely Devastated

My precious baby is now gone forever. I came home and found her not in the house. Don't know how she got out from the house. This still puzzled me. Normally, if mum let her our of the house, she'll sit by the gate and wait. Of all these years, why now? Do you believe that a faithful dog will not die at home? It'll go and find it's own grave. This is what I was told by most of my friends. But why would she want to go and die else where? If she were to die at home, I'd give her a proper burial. The thought of her rotting away or being some where foreign to her breaks my heart. My baby is out there all alone. I'll miss her jumps and excitedness when she sees me. She'll pounce on me and trys kissing me. *sobs* She's now gone. Why? When i wanted to give her a nice shower during CNY. To give her all the hugs and kisses. I wish i could just give her another hug and a kiss before she die. I miss her so badly that my heart hurts soo much. I'm still grieving for my loss...my baby is gone forever.....

~sob~